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<urlset xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9" xmlns:image="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-image/1.1" xsi:schemaLocation="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9 http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9/sitemap.xsd"><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/about/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/author-headshot.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Author Headshot</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/20190519_105138.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20190519_105138</image:title><image:caption>c/o SCR</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/blog-photo.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Blog Photo</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/dscf1237-e1346969544365.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1237</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/08_18_0.jpeg</image:loc><image:title>08_18_0</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2023-06-02T16:17:48+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2023/06/02/new-publication-these-hands/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/20230602_112153.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20230602_112153</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/alvarez_essential_des_cov_sm_rgb.jpg</image:loc><image:title>alvarez_essential_des_cov_sm_rgb</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/20230602_112026.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20230602_112026</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2023-06-02T18:45:53+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2022/01/28/new-publication-what-grew-before-the-sun-erotica/</loc><lastmod>2022-02-02T11:22:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/09/10/navigating-the-storm-interview-with-author-michael-farris-smith/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/mfs-author-feature-pic.jpg</image:loc><image:title>MFS Author Feature Pic</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2022-01-29T01:11:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2021/06/13/the-prodigal-pastors-kid-what-it-means-to-be-the-atheist-son-of-a-pastor/</loc><lastmod>2021-12-24T03:59:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2021/05/26/1st-place-winner-gums-and-gauze-by-z-s-roe/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/fifteen-stories-high-volume-20-front-cover-art-194x300-2.png</image:loc><image:title>Fifteen-Stories-High-Volume-20-Front-Cover-Art-194x300 (2)</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/fifteen-stories-high-volume-20-front-cover-art-194x300-1.png</image:loc><image:title>Fifteen-Stories-High-Volume-20-Front-Cover-Art-194x300</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2021-05-27T15:58:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2018/05/28/life-in-glass-blood-and-poetry/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/thumbnail_brokenroe-coverproof.jpg</image:loc><image:title>thumbnail_BrokenRoe coverPROOF</image:title><image:caption>Available from Plan B Press</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/helm.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Helm</image:title><image:caption>Helm's cutting table</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/20180105_092251.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20180105_092251</image:title><image:caption>One style of glass cutter</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/20180502_135521.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20180502_135521</image:title><image:caption>No, it's okay. I'll clean your blood up for you.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/lig-blood.jpg</image:loc><image:title>LIG Blood</image:title><image:caption>Slice and dice, ladies and gentlemen (2014)</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/life-in-glass.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Life In Glass</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2020-03-23T23:52:43+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2020/03/23/pandemic-perseverance-perspective/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/fullscreen-capture-2020-03-23-60021-am.bmp_.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 2020-03-23 60021 AM.bmp</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2020-03-24T02:18:53+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/05/31/i-love-your-band-oh-and-i-stalk-your-wife/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/mike-herrea.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Mike herrea</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2020-03-03T11:54:07+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2011/04/12/rfp-sex-on-the-silver-screen/</loc><lastmod>2020-03-03T11:52:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/03/28/hot-damn-11-toilet-humour/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/dscf1688.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1688</image:title><image:caption>This glorious bathroom?  I built it.  No, seriously.  I will never do such a thing again, but I built this son of a bitch!</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2019-05-26T13:18:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/contact/</loc><lastmod>2019-05-15T23:05:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>weekly</changefreq><priority>0.6</priority></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/09/12/childhood-innocence-it-doesnt-exist-so-stop-trying-to-protect-it/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/childhood-innocence.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Childhood Innocence</image:title><image:caption>Yes, that's me holding the infamous lunchbox, and that kid behind me is the one I hit in the face.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/fullscreen-capture-11092015-101428-pm-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 11092015 101428 PM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>Back in the day I was pretty damn adorable, right?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2024-07-05T09:23:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/04/10/the-bible-sex-and-marriage-a-confused-story-of-contradictory-positions/</loc><lastmod>2018-05-30T23:25:09+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2018/02/18/burn-with-me-a-review-of-joel-thomas-hynes-fourth-novel/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/20180218_105933.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20180218_105933</image:title><image:caption>Joel Thomas Hynes dedicates his novel to the "myth of the friendly Newfoundlander."</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2018-02-18T16:15:22+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/03/08/a-rude-awakening-on-losing-helm-ringl/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dscf0901.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF0901</image:title><image:caption>Helm's cutting table</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2024-09-28T12:42:27+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2017/04/19/why-you-dont-need-to-love-what-you-do-or-even-like-it/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/black.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Black</image:title><image:caption>You're not alone.  Actually, you're in the majority</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2017-04-19T11:07:45+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2016/12/22/christmas-an-atheists-reflections/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/christmas-nativity.jpg</image:loc><image:title>christmas-nativity</image:title><image:caption>This is the nativity display my neighbours have up.  Yes, it's the one that looks like two T-Rexes fighting over a watermelon.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/20151218_181623.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151218_181623</image:title><image:caption>This is a Christmas tree.  Why are you reading the caption; you should know this already.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-12-23T12:24:46+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2016/11/30/the-cure-for-baldness-finally-the-answers-youve-been-looking-for/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/bald-zac.jpg</image:loc><image:title>bald-zac</image:title><image:caption>No hiding from me.  I'm a bald bastard and free to prance.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-11-30T11:31:03+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2016/02/27/why-im-striving-not-to-be-such-an-angry-atheist/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/atheist.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Atheist</image:title><image:caption>I said "striving," I didn't say "succeeding," so ... you know -- rants are still forthcoming.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-02-27T22:13:06+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2016/02/07/my-neighbour-just-won-the-lottery-and-im-a-better-man-because-of-it/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/lotto_max_charles_langille___gallery1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Lotto_Max_Charles_Langille___Gallery</image:title><image:caption>*Courtesy of Ontario Lottery &amp; Gaming</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-02-07T21:55:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2016/01/16/an-open-letter-to-billy-talent-drummer-aaron-solowoniuk/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/fullscreen-capture-2016-01-15-73105-pm-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 2016-01-15 73105 PM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>*Screen Capture taken from YouTube</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-01-16T17:43:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/09/06/ditch-your-religion-and-follow-mine/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/thumbnail-damn.png</image:loc><image:title>THUMBNAIL--Damn</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2016-01-03T13:34:59+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/12/30/jedi-justin-and-jihad-the-2015-year-in-review/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/20151230_081323.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151230_081323</image:title><image:caption>Here's hoping 2016 doesn't disappoint. Fingers crossed.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2016-01-03T13:34:08+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/12/28/hot-damn-achieving-my-goals/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/20151228_115720.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151228_115720</image:title><image:caption>Apparently making lists help in achieving your goals.  So I hear.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-12-28T21:51:50+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/12/12/hot-damn-44-movies/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/20151212_083703.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151212_083703</image:title><image:caption>A handful of my DVD collection.  Yeah, I still buy DVDs ... wanna fight about it?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-12-19T14:36:08+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/12/19/hot-damn-45-christmas/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/20151218_181652.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151218_181652</image:title><image:caption>Yes, that's Action Man as our tree topper. AMP IT UP!</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-12-19T14:31:26+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/11/29/hot-damn-42-gang-vocals-with-your-family/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/20151129_153413.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151129_153413</image:title><image:caption>There it is, folks -- the $14 microphone. A thing of beauty.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-12-13T03:08:42+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/12/08/hot-damn-43/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/20151207_182804.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151207_182804</image:title><image:caption>"Z.S. Roe" looks pretty sexy in print, doesn't it?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-12-08T11:20:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/07/17/life-advice-burn-your-boats-and-then-panic/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/burn-your-boat.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Burn Your Boat</image:title><image:caption>Good idea or bad idea?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-12-06T14:16:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/11/21/hot-damn-41-corgi-love/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/20151010_081418.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151010_081418</image:title><image:caption>Nobody's bitch except for her mommy's.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-11-21T18:02:14+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/11/14/why-the-phrase-wake-up-world-is-really-just-code-for-im-an-asshole/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/paris.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Paris</image:title><image:caption>Paris, France</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-11-14T20:53:34+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/11/07/hot-damn-40-learning-to-play-an-instrument/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/20151107_090449.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151107_090449</image:title><image:caption>Do you like my stack?  How about my axes?  yeah, totally killer, bro.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-11-07T19:14:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/10/31/hot-damn-39-losing-weight/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/20151031_082037.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151031_082037</image:title><image:caption>Yes, this is what my scale actually said.  And then it crumbled under my unbearable girth.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-10-31T14:26:30+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/10/25/hot-damn-38-the-apartment-life/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/fullscreen-capture-2015-10-25-81430-am-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 2015-10-25 81430 AM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>This is me, rocking like a lazy schmuck in my old aparmtnet</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-10-26T01:06:20+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/10/17/hot-damn-37-the-possibility-of-no-afterlife/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/20151016_131758.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20151016_131758</image:title><image:caption>Yo, why you reading this caption?  This playa don't believe in nothin'</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-10-17T12:49:27+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/10/03/hot-damn-36-the-here-in-my-garage-guy/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/fullscreen-capture-02102015-71725-pm-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 02102015 71725 PM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>Tai Lopez: about to drop some "Knowledge"</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-10-03T13:24:11+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/09/27/hot-damn-35-learning-first-aid/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/20150927_105226.jpg</image:loc><image:title>20150927_105226</image:title><image:caption>I once saw a guy feed his thumb through a table saw.  The first aid responder wrapped his thumb in a dirty towel.  No joke.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-09-27T15:22:08+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/09/19/hot-damn-34-prince-edward-island/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/hot-damn-travelling.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn -- Travelling</image:title><image:caption>That's me, looking like a schmuck, but still fly as hell with those grandpa shades</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-09-19T17:55:24+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/06/20/hot-damn-23-still-not-owning-a-cellphone/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/dscf1762.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1762</image:title><image:caption>I coworker recently told me that they hadn't had a landline in over 10 years.  That made me sad.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-09-12T20:57:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/08/29/hot-damn-33-families-getting-back-together/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/dscf1669.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1669</image:title><image:caption>The Fam Jam, plus cookies and a corgi</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-08-29T15:22:10+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/08/22/hot-damn-32-finding-the-right-song-at-the-right-time/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/fullscreen-capture-22082015-105023-am-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 22082015 105023 AM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>*screen capture from the lyric video of Frank Turner's "Get Better"</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-08-22T16:13:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/08/15/hot-damn-31-being-introverted-and-keeping-quiet-about-it/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/dscf1776.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1776</image:title><image:caption>This sweater is a little TOO on the nose . . .</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-08-15T15:54:29+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/08/08/hot-damn-30-icy-cold-lemonade/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/dscf1766.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1766</image:title><image:caption>That's a legit lemon.  No, really.  I DO have real fruit and veggies in the fridge.  It's not ALL sugar drinks.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-08-08T20:45:50+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/07/05/hot-damn-25-the-silly-responses-to-the-gay-marriage-ruling/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fullscreen-capture-05072015-61401-pm-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 05072015 61401 PM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>*screenshot via YouTube</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-08-01T22:18:47+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/08/01/hot-damn-29-workplace-injuries/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/workplace-injury.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Workplace Injury</image:title><image:caption>This little bugger took quite a long time to stop bleeding ... but, you know, I'm so bad ass for it.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-08-01T14:50:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/07/25/hot-damn-28-emergency-toilets/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fullscreen-capture-25072015-12314-pm-bmp.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Fullscreen capture 25072015 12314 PM.bmp</image:title><image:caption>Shame! [rings bell]</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-07-25T21:09:59+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/07/18/hot-damn-27-cbc-radio-one/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/dscf1764.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1764</image:title><image:caption>Radio . . . something something caption-y, something something clever...</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-07-19T22:18:32+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/07/11/hot-damn-26-university-bathrooms/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/bathroom.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Bathroom</image:title><image:caption>...here I sit, broken hearted, try to poop but only farted...</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-07-11T16:25:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/06/27/hot-damn-24-winning-the-lottery/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/lottery.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Lottery</image:title><image:caption>This is the face I'd make if I won.  Usually, though, I'm just a grump.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-06-27T15:37:17+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/06/13/hot-damn-22-the-jurassic-park-franchise/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/hot-damn-22.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn 22</image:title><image:caption>I need to take more selfies.  Clearly.  My duck face is killer.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-06-13T14:48:18+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/06/06/hot-damn-21-tough-facebook-kids-who-hate-grammar/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/hot-damn-21-fb.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn 21 FB</image:title><image:caption>Apparently, this slang is an example of Jamaican Patois.  Did I mention that these kids are white?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-06-06T18:56:35+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/05/30/hot-damn-20-being-okay-with-being-alone/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dscf1754.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1754</image:title><image:caption>Sad man makes sad face.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-05-30T16:21:11+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/05/23/hot-damn-19-baby-wipes/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/dscf1745.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1745</image:title><image:caption>There it is, folks:  sweet, sweet relief.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-05-23T16:27:22+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/05/16/hot-damn-18-firing-misogynistic-douche-bags/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/hot-damn-18.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn 18</image:title><image:caption>This guy dug his own grave.  He had every chance to just put the shovel down.  Did he?  Nah, he's too chill for that.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-05-16T15:29:27+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/05/09/hot-damn-17-imaginary-friends/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/hot-damn-imaginary-friend.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn -- Imaginary Friend</image:title><image:caption>Us bros, just hanging out and stuff.  No big deal.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-05-09T16:28:14+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/05/02/hot-damn-16-hotdogs/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/hotdogs.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hotdogs</image:title><image:caption>Sorry, I was out of buns.  This is NOT a penis joke . . . but it could be . . . you know, if that's you're thing.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-05-02T15:02:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/04/25/hot-damn-15-the-scrapyard-boys/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/dscf1707.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1707</image:title><image:caption>These are the actual "boys" down the street from my actual "house"</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-04-25T11:44:18+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/04/18/hot-damn-14-not-slam-poetry/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/dscf1705.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1705</image:title><image:caption>Herein lies a funny poem / about the stuff I do at home / like eating toes with marmalade / and toasting cake as mommy bade...</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-04-18T13:59:13+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/01/29/the-penis-what-you-didnt-learn-from-health-class-sunday-school-or-porn/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/dscf1351.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1351</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2015-04-15T00:21:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/03/03/the-history-of-the-vagina-misunderstanding-shame-and-porn/</loc><lastmod>2015-04-15T00:19:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2014/06/28/a-failing-grade-on-being-a-suspended-teacher/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/suspended-teacher1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Suspended Teacher</image:title></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/suspended-teacher-e1404013901689.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Suspended Teacher</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2015-04-14T10:19:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/04/11/hot-damn-13-honest-funerals/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/hot-damn-dead-2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn Dead 2</image:title><image:caption>... I mean, if we're being honest.  Right?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-04-11T16:13:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/04/05/hot-damn-12-cards-against-humanity/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/cah.jpg</image:loc><image:title>CAH</image:title><image:caption>Daniel Radcliffe wins every time.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-04-05T12:45:38+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/03/21/hot-damn-10-the-hilariously-mad-tommy-wiseau/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/dscf1684.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1684</image:title><image:caption>Have you read his AMA?  Go read his AMA.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-03-21T18:36:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/03/14/hot-damn-9-books/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/dscf1678.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1678</image:title><image:caption>Bask in the glory that is books ... also pounds and pounds of death should this bookcase fall on me.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-03-14T21:11:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/03/07/hot-damn-8-tea-my-drug-of-choice/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/dscf1675.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1675</image:title><image:caption>Tea should be black.  Always black.  If you drink green, the hippies win.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-03-07T22:15:19+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/02/28/hot-damn-7-talking-to-yourself/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/hot-damn-7-5.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn 7.5</image:title><image:caption>You do it, too.  Don't lie to me.  I heard you.  And, no, I wasn't listening in.  Okay, maybe I was.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-02-28T14:23:30+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/02/21/hot-damn-6-breakfast/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/dscf1667.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1667</image:title><image:caption>Moral of the story: breakfast is the best!</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-02-21T18:38:32+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2011/08/09/rfp-making-music%e2%80%94an-amateur%e2%80%99s-approach/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/dscf0239.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF0239</image:title><image:caption>Z.S. Roe himself, laying down some licks</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-02-20T23:50:55+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/02/14/hot-damn-5-the-much-maligned-testicles/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/hot-damn-5.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn 5</image:title><image:caption>Feast your eyes!</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-02-14T16:54:18+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/02/07/hot-damn-4-the-bro-shake/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/dscf1661.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1661</image:title><image:caption>I drink your bro shake -- sluuuurrrrrrrrrrp -- I drink it up.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-02-09T23:22:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/01/31/hot-damn-3-corgis/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/snapshot_20150111_1.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Snapshot_20150111_1</image:title><image:caption>This is my pup, my legion of doom.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-01-31T21:23:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/01/24/hot-damn-2-the-perfect-note/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/hot-damn-2.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn #2</image:title><image:caption>Slappin' da bass, yo!</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-01-31T21:21:33+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/01/17/hot-damn-1-peanut-butter/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/hot-damn-peanut-butter.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Hot Damn Peanut Butter</image:title><image:caption>That's peanut butter on a banana.  Yes, it's delicious.</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2015-01-17T23:05:31+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2015/01/11/on-life-turning-thirty-and-big-ears-teddy/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/zsroe-blog-pic.jpg</image:loc><image:title>ZSROE Blog Pic</image:title><image:caption>... because milk chocolate is bad for my digestion.</image:caption></image:image><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bitter-zac.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Bitter Zac</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2015-01-12T04:40:02+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/10/03/christina-aguilera-big-and-bold-but-beautiful/</loc><lastmod>2014-07-26T16:10:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/11/23/writing-a-novel-what-a-joke/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/dscf1502.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF1502</image:title><image:caption>100,000 words of pure genius, right?</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-11-23T13:55:32+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/06/03/on-being-laid-off-and-the-end-of-a-family-business/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dscf0920.jpg</image:loc><image:title>DSCF0920</image:title><image:caption>A shot of my work station where I worked for over eleven years</image:caption></image:image><lastmod>2013-07-11T11:37:04+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2013/06/11/best-books-red-planet-blues-chocolates-for-breakfast-rivers/</loc><lastmod>2013-07-10T20:39:49+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/12/21/the-films-of-2012-why-i-saw-so-few-but-loved-the-few-i-saw/</loc><lastmod>2012-12-22T03:14:58+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/11/27/give-boobs-a-break-no-more-naked-lady-calendars/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/snapshot_20121127-e1354070350917.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Snapshot_20121127</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2013-04-13T13:00:21+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/11/06/im-sick-bucking-the-cold-blues/</loc><lastmod>2012-12-09T19:30:47+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/10/25/canada-reads-and-i-read-something-else/</loc><lastmod>2012-10-25T10:29:52+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/10/18/beating-to-death-your-quarter-life-crisis-four-easy-steps/</loc><lastmod>2012-10-18T10:29:54+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/10/11/fifty-shades-of-grey-a-guys-perspective/</loc><lastmod>2012-10-11T10:21:32+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/09/27/dear-musicians-stop-smashing-your-guitars/</loc><lastmod>2012-09-27T10:37:40+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/09/20/twas-the-night-before-christmas-santa-quits-smoking/</loc><lastmod>2012-09-20T11:14:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/09/13/grammar-it-could-cost-you-your-career/</loc><lastmod>2012-09-13T10:24:14+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/08/29/relax-and-take-it-easy-you-deserve-it/</loc><lastmod>2012-08-30T01:20:20+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/08/16/on-vacation-hold-the-fort-while-im-gone/</loc><lastmod>2012-08-16T11:12:06+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/08/09/tom-hardy-forget-bane-embrace-bronson/</loc><lastmod>2012-08-24T04:58:15+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/08/02/sequels-prequels-and-reboots-maybe-not-so-bad-after-all/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/the_hobbit.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Sequels, Prequels, and Reboots—Maybe Not So Bad After All</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2012-08-02T11:12:53+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/07/26/high-school-reading-novels-that-dont-suck-as-much-as-you-remember/</loc><lastmod>2012-07-26T16:18:47+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/07/19/25-reasons-to-quit-your-job-its-about-time-right/</loc><lastmod>2012-07-19T10:44:41+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/07/12/from-3d-to-4d-how-movies-are-killing-the-imagination/</loc><lastmod>2012-07-12T11:53:16+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/06/28/small-talks-for-suckers-and-for-successful-people-whom-i-hate/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-28T22:34:17+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/06/21/shia-labeouf-is-naked-why-arent-you/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-21T10:53:18+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/06/14/community-essential-yet-out-of-reach/</loc><lastmod>2012-06-14T11:26:20+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/06/07/an-open-letter-to-ray-bradbury-sorry-for-not-reading-your-books/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/ray-bradbury.jpg</image:loc><image:title>An Open Letter To Ray Bradbury—Sorry For Not Reading Your Books</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2014-03-28T04:02:23+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/05/17/an-open-letter-to-ryan-gosling/</loc><lastmod>2012-05-17T23:36:14+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/05/03/self-help-books-kill-me-now/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/regretsofdying.jpg</image:loc><image:title>Self-Help Books – Kill Me Now</image:title></image:image><lastmod>2012-05-03T18:56:10+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/04/19/poetry-worth-getting-naked-for/</loc><lastmod>2012-04-19T22:54:51+00:00</lastmod><changefreq>monthly</changefreq></url><url><loc>https://zsroe.com/2012/04/05/3d-ing-old-movies-its-worth-the-money/</loc><image:image><image:loc>https://zsroe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/jurassic-park.jpg</image:loc><image:title>3D-ing Old Movies … It's Worth The 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