HOT DAMN #41 — Corgi Love

LIFE’S WONDERS PRAISED IN SUGGESTIVE, ODDBALL, AND NONSENSE WAYS

As a counterpoint to my usual cynical antics, I’ve committed myself to a weekly, year-long discussion of my life’s joys.  But, never one for the more traditional approaches, I intend to keep things a little off side, a tad outlandish, and always one foot outside of polite company.

//CORGI LOVE//

I own a corgi, a small, dwarfish dog that is all the rage on the internet. In this one instance, the internet has chosen well.

You see, my corgi completes me. She had me at “Hello.”

But let me be clear: my adoration for all things stumpy and canine did not begin online. In fact, my current corgi, Dottie (or Theodora if you want to be classy), is only the first corgi that I personally have ever owned. Growing up, however, I had two of them.

I’m what you’d call a long time corgi aficionado (see my previous Corgi post).

Of course, the draw toward dogs is not simply their adorability; it is their love and devotion to you that really seals the deal.

Nobody’s bitch except for her mommy’s.

And, wouldn’t you know it, my corgi happens to love me a whole lot. And why wouldn’t she? I’m fly as hell.

Now, the thing about corgis you may not be familiar with is their particular boss-like personality. Yes, they are little dogs, relatively speaking, and, as the cliché goes, little dogs like to act like they’re big dogs. In actual fact, though, corgis were traditionally used to perform big dog jobs.

That’s right. Back in the day, these cute little puffs of fur were used to herd livestock, as in 1,500 pound cows. Who be frontin’ now?

What this means is that while your corgi does indeed love you a whole lot, it has no patience for your shit. They can herd a cow, for god sake; herding you is just how they have fun. And if you fancy yourself a playa, then they’re gonna show you how the game is really played.

Because your corgi, small though she may be, ain’t nobody’s bitch.

On such a small frame, this attitude is hilarious as hell. It’s the perfect dose of irony after a particularly crummy day. Of late, there’s been a lot of crummy days; the darling pictured above is what’s helped me get through.

That and cocaine, but . . . well, you know.

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Did you miss last week’s entry on LEARNING TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?  Catch up here.

For a full list of all HOT DAMNs, click here