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Hot Damn

HOT DAMN #2 — The Perfect Note

Life’s Wonders Praised in Wildly Suggestive, Oddball, and Nonsense Ways

In an effort to offer a counterpoint to my usual cynical antics, I’ve decided on a new project:  a weekly, year-long discussion of those things in my life that I enjoy.  For those keeping count, that’s one new thing every week.  But, never one for the more traditional approaches, I intend to keep things a little off side, a tad outlandish, and always one foot outside of polite company.

THE PERFECT NOTE – Fret 14 on the G String of the Bass Guitar
By Z. S. Roe

It is certainly no secret that untold millions have been spent and an unfathomable amount of man hours committed in the search for the one perfect musical note. For many, it has been a fruitless quest that has taken the best years of their lives; for others . . . well, for others, it has been nothing short of a sad and deadly affair. Need I even mention the fatal incident involving the Tuba extortionist and his theremin-playing wife?

Slappin' da bass, yo!

Slappin’ da bass, yo!

But, much to my delight, that note, that one perfect symphony of celestial climax, has finally been discovered. And, joy of joys, I was the bloody fool who discovered it . . . or, rather, uncovered the conspiracy to keep it forever hidden from popular culture.

It was the punks, you see. Those mohawk sporting, anarchy spouting, wallet-chain blinging hooligans — whose safety-pin pierced noses are even now bleeding from my figurative one-two punch to their similarly figurative (and collective) cultural face — have for years been keeping this godly delight to themselves, hiding it within their unkempt shroud of skullduggery.

Perhaps I am over exaggerating. Perhaps I have simply stumbled upon a note that I, personally, find to be the pinnacle of pleasure. Perhaps it is all subjective.

Or perhaps not, my good friends.

Perhaps not.

Read last week’s HOT DAMN:  Peanut Butter!

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