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Hot Damn

HOT DAMN #9 — Books

LIFE’S WONDERS PRAISED IN SUGGESTIVE, ODDBALL, AND NONSENSE WAYS

As a counterpoint to my usual cynical antics, I’ve committed myself to a weekly, year-long discussion of my life’s joys.  But, never one for the more traditional approaches, I intend to keep things a little off side, a tad outlandish, and always one foot outside of polite company.

BOOKS

I am a book slut.

No, I know; I’m sorry. That’s not very polite. Perhaps I should have said “bibliophile.” It makes me sound more distinguished, which I could probably benefit from.

On the other hand, I thought we were past slut shaming.

So, no, I retract my retraction.

I am a book slut.

Bask in the glory that is books ... also pounds and pounds of death should this bookcase fall on me.

Bask in the glory that is books … also pounds and pounds of death should this bookcase fall on me.

Find me a mass market paperback, and I will bury my face in its leafy pages, breathing deep of that dark lasered print and paper aroma. New or old, it doesn’t matter; I take my folio bliss fresh or musty. Crisp and white or jaundiced-yellow? Again, I have no paper preference. I repeat, there is no discrimination in my dojo of pilfered pages.

Admittedly, I do pay tribute to the great book whore that is AMAZON, which, I suppose, makes my use of the word “slut” somehow more appropriate. But forget that. I still shop at brick and mortar stores as well, so save your hippie horse pile for someone else, dear friend. As there is no discrimination in my dojo, so too is there no judgement. In other words, leave your opinions at the door or up your ass – either way, I don’t want to see them.

Unless, of course, your opinions are about books: who to read, what to read, when to read, why to read. Do you prefer your print small or large? Do you favour hardcover over paperback? And if the former, do you leave the dust jacket on or take it off while reading? Actually, the last question is of dire importance – our friendship may be at stake.

What I’m trying to say is that my books come first. Always. You should know that at the outset.

And if you step into my house with an e-reader?

Well, you, sir or madam, can get right the hell out.

Did you miss last week’s entry on TEA Catch up here.

For a full list of all HOT DAMNs, click here.

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Discussion

2 thoughts on “HOT DAMN #9 — Books

  1. I used to be a hard copy book …. ummmm ‘bookslut’…… however you too shall eventually fill your home with your favourites and then find you hate packing and unpacking to change the furniture around and yes that includes those dreaded bookshelves. AND I have found another way to ‘slut around’ and always manage to have at least 600 books at my fingertips via my eReader and can enjoy many mega cups of, you got it…MY BLACK TEA 👍

    Posted by Thehub | March 14, 2015, 4:13 pm

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: HOT DAMN #10 – The Hilariously Mad Tommy Wiseau | zs roe - March 21, 2015

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