HOT DAMN #26 — University Bathrooms

LIFE’S WONDERS PRAISED IN SUGGESTIVE, ODDBALL, AND NONSENSE WAYS

As a counterpoint to my usual cynical antics, I’ve committed myself to a weekly, year-long discussion of my life’s joys.  But, never one for the more traditional approaches, I intend to keep things a little off side, a tad outlandish, and always one foot outside of polite company.

//UNIVERSITY BATHROOMS//

Once upon a time, I attended university. The funny thing about being a full time university student, though, is that your class times are often spread out. For instance, you may have a class that ends at 3:30, and then not have another class until 7:00.

In other words, being a university student can sometimes be an exercise in having to regularly kill large amounts of time.

A good student would have used that time to study; a bad student would have used that time to drink or make brownies or something. Me? I visited bathrooms.

…here I sit, broken hearted, try to poop but only farted…

Oh, I did other things, too; I’m not a complete nut job. I also spent a lot of time in the campus bookstore, endlessly browsing through the same shelves I’d looked through countless times before. I didn’t just browse, though; I spent a lot of money there, too.

But money is finite, so I had to find something else to do. For whatever reason, that something else was visiting as many different campus bathrooms as possible. I used these bathrooms. Let me not give the wrong impression; I wasn’t a restroom tourist — I ran each of those several dozen toilets through their paces, believe you me.

Very quickly, I came to have favourites, such as the bathroom on the fifth floor of the arts library or the bathroom on the first floor of the general sciences building. The thing about these bathrooms was that they were used infrequently, which made them good places to be alone. I could quite literally lock myself away from the world.

University can be tough, and I think I just needed my own little places to reflect and recharge.

Oh, and most times I also needed to poop. So, you know . . .

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Did you miss last week’s entry on THE SILLY RESPONSE TO THE GAY MARRIAGE RULING?  Catch up here.

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