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Hot Damn

HOT DAMN #25 – The Silly Responses to the Gay Marriage Ruling


As a counterpoint to my usual cynical antics, I’ve committed myself to a weekly, year-long discussion of my life’s joys.  But, never one for the more traditional approaches, I intend to keep things a little off side, a tad outlandish, and always one foot outside of polite company.


Now that same sex couples can marry in all fifty states of the good ol’ USA, the world is a better place. Not everyone agrees, of course, especially in the Deep South, but so long as they keep their heads about them and don’t devolve to outright douchebaggery, I’m fine letting them do their thing.

*screenshot via YouTube

*screenshot via YouTube

Despite what’s often portrayed in the media, there are many folk who oppose same sex marriage whose reasoning is neither outlandish nor outrageous. They have a different point of view is all, and having that point of view doesn’t necessarily make them a bigot. And while I think they’re dead wrong, I don’t feel the need to label them all as hate spewing troglodytes, though some of them may be just that.

Still, those of them that are trogs really are something special, and their response to the same sex marriage ruling has been truly hilarious, ignorant, and painfully close to self-parody. Let’s march through the three best responses.

Most of you have already heard about this one, but it has to be mentioned. You know what I’m talking about, all those disgruntled Americans who, learning about the Supreme Court’s decision, tweeted something to the effect of, “Moving to Canada … this country is corrupt.” And, yeah, I’m going to bet that most of them still haven’t figured out why everybody’s laughing at them. Click here for more.

The problem I’ve often had with Christianity is its ingrained sense of perpetual persecution. It’s part of the mythology: to be a Christian is to be persecuted. And while conservative Christians aren’t always portrayed in the best of lights in mainstream media, let’s not forget that these followers of Christ make up nearly a third of the global population. In other words, they are not the maligned minority they sometimes make themselves out to be. Case in point, the Not Alone video that hit the web after the Supreme Court ruling. Until the very end, I expected it to be a joke. But it isn’t. They even hit the “I have lots of gay friends” cliché. What they don’t seem to grasp, though, is that to the rest of the world this video sounds just silly. It’s like watching slave owners sulking after the abolition of slavery.

Yes, you read that right. Turns out Texas pastor Rick Scarborough, the man who said he’d set himself on fire if gay marriage was legalized, is now saying that he plans to fight gay marriage from the inside . . . by marrying a man. “I need to see what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling,” he writes, after having not set himself on fire. “Yes, I’ll be having sex with my new husband. It’s needed to find out how to defeat gay marriage permanently.” I repeat, this is not a joke. This guy is for real. And you know what? I enjoy the hell out of him. You can read more here.

So what are we to make of all this? Are all Christians this ignorant, insensitive, and crazy? Of course not. Most Christians are decent, intelligent people. And let’s not forget that it isn’t just Christians who oppose same sex marriage. Many other religions don’t care for it much, either. So maybe that’s where the fault must lie: not at the feet of one religion, but at the feet of all religions. In other words, it’s all those dang religious folk who’re to blame; they’re the ones that shit the bed. Thankfully, though, I don’t mind helping with the cleanup. May I suggest you start by reading my post on baby wipes.

Did you miss last week’s entry on WINNING THE LOTTERYCatch up here.

For a full list of all HOT DAMNs, click here



  1. Pingback: HOT DAMN #26 — University Bathrooms | zs roe - July 11, 2015

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